Carrigstown Agenda

Carrigstown Agenda Propaganda: A photoshoot, arranged by Bob Charles, with some locals appearing to be thoroughly enjoying the cosmopolitan 21st century Carrigstown.

The Carrigstown Agenda is an all-encompassing movement formed by the local community in Carrigstown that attempts to shape the views and ideals of its inhabitants.

Conspiracy

The conspiracy theory was initially proposed by Oisin Brennan after he observed minority groups climbing the social hierarchy in Carrigstown, despite being remarkably boring individuals. Within days of making this claim, Oisin survived an attempt on his life after a masked gunman approached him outside his home. Detective John Deegan believes that the hit was ordered by Committee members of the Carrigstown Agenda with Dean Dowling being the suspected gunman.

John Deegan's Statement

In December 2019, under increasing pressure from the Brennan family and the Irish media, detective John Deegan released the following statement admitting that there was indeed some truth to the rumoured theory.

"It has come to light that some local people are concerned about a possible movement and a shift in the belief system of our wonderful community. I want to assure everyone that we have the best interests of Carrigstown at heart in everything we do. We as a community intend to advance our beliefs and challenge traditional ways of thinking. We are now a remarkably progressive town and one day we believe Carrigstown will be considered one of the most forward-thinking towns in the modern world." - John Deegan

The Carrigstown Vision Manifesto

After John Deegan's statement was released, internet hackers, under the instruction of Oisin Brennan, compromised the home laptop of Bob Charles and retrieved a 42 page document detailing the vision Bob Charles had for the future of Carrigstown and it's inhabitants. It is believed that Renee Phelan, Dolores Molloy, Pete Ferguson and Dearbhla Dillon assisted with the manifesto but all declined to comment. The manifesto outlined several aspects of Carrigstown's cultural norms that it suggested were keeping the town from becoming the fashionable, upmarket Dublin neighbourhood it could become. The manifesto alluded to the ousting of enjoyable locals Tommy Dillon and Paul Brennan on the grounds that they were too misogynistic to fit into the eutopian Carrigstown vision. Perhaps more alarmingly, it was revealed in the manifesto that Damien Halpin's brief relationship with foreign immigrant Ama Chisenga in 2014 was part of an experiment which Bob Charles oversaw. Charles speculated that this flagship interracial relationship had advanced the town of Carrigstown by at least 15 years.

COVID-19

Never letting a good crisis go to waste, Bob Charles cynically capitalized on COVID-19 to further bring about new changes within the community. Borrowing ideas from The Great Reset, Bob Charles used fear-mongering throughout and successfully achieved Groupthink, infiltrating Carrigstown with bizarre trends such as Triple Masking and We Can Be Zero singalongs.

In a leaked document, Charles was exposed as having been using propaganda techniques to embellish the gravity of the COVID-19 situation in Carrigstown. Charles specifically referenced Doug Ferguson, remarking that his "lack of ambition and blind ignorance" neatly demonstrated a stratum of the population that Charles suggested he could freely manipulate "like a puppet on a string". The revelations in the document were met with outrage from a large portion of the Carrigstown community. Doug was radicalized overnight by an extremist group known as Oakley's Children of God. Charles had lost his most loyal pawn.

In a comical balancing act, The Carrigstown Agenda maintained both a pro-immigration status and pro-lockdown status throughout the pandemic.