Neasa

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Neasa clearly outshining sisters Dearbhla (left) and Caoimhe (right)

Neasa is the most beautiful woman to ever exist. She is the daughter of champion stud Tommy Dillon and his one-time wife Judith Ferguson. Neasa, much to the despair of Tommy, grew up to be the most beautiful woman that has ever graced the Carrigstown landscape. Her beauty was so well-acknowledged that she commanded much of the Carrigstown social scene for a period during the 2010s. Naturally, Neasa was always bigger than Carrigstown and inevitably moved onto bigger and better things. She is currently residing in London where she is immensely successful.

It was hoped by Carrigstown locals that Neasa might inherit her father's other worldly sexual desires but this did not seem to be the case as it has been suggested that her less attractive, but still acceptable by Carrigstown standards, sister Caoimhe Dillon may have inherited those genes. Their younger sister Dearbhla Dillon who falls between the two in terms of attractiveness emerged as the more promiscuous of the three. Their father Tommy Dillon says there is no contest and that Neasa is comfortably his best looking daughter. He even went as far as telling local punter Cass Cassidy that if she wasn't his daughter then he'd be "all over her like a rash".

Partners and Dating[edit | edit source]

Neasa is regarded by most as the best looking woman to ever step foot in Carrigstown so it's no surprise that she was hot property and in high demand during her period there. She turned down nearly every man in Carrigstown at the time. After multiple unwanted advances and harassment, Neasa decided she needed a boyfriend and hooked up with Turlough Norris. Turlough at the time was in a wheelchair and many feel this relationship was just to keep the wolves at bay.

The Neasa chase[edit | edit source]

Neasa was only in Carrigstown 3 days when poperty tycoon Paul Brennan offered to leave his wife and kids behind and move to the canary islands with her for good. Neasa thanked him for the offer but refused. 3 weeks later Dermot Fahy who was furious at the affair her father Tommy Dillon was having with his wife Jo Fahy demanded that Tommy allow him sleep with Neasa to even things out. Neasa was disgusted when she was made aware of this request, and was physically sick when she discovered that her Dad thought she should go through with it. The following weeks were relentless. Both Xavier "Zumo" Bishop and Decco Bishop also tried it on with her while local alcoholic Hughie Phelan followed her home one night and slept outside her door. When Neasa rang the gardai to report him, Steve Yates showed up with a bottle of wine and invited himself in. He left the house without taking a statement after she rejected his attempt to kiss her. However, the final straw for Neasa came when local punter Cass Cassidy showed up outside her house with flowers on Valentines day. Neasa went to Bob Charles the next day to report the harassment. Bob disgusted with the behaviour quickly set Neasa up with local cripple Turlough Norris. This was a win-win situation for everyone. It was a huge coup for the Carrigstown Agenda to show that such a diverse relationship was possible and this slowed down the harassment.

This bought Neasa time but it eventually came to a head with locals in McCoys constantly referring to Turlough as someone punching above his weight. A poor Haloween joke where Wayne Molloy showed up in a wheelchair claiming he was dressed up as Turlough was the final straw. Bob, growing increasingly aware that the Carrigstown Agenda's flagship male Damien Halpin was losing credibility at an alarming rate, released an unfounded rumour that Damien had been sleeping with Neasa. Paul Brennan, furious that Damien had been credited with the scoop, demanded that the rumour be rescinded immediately and dismissed from public consciousness.

Nease left Carrigstown in 2013 and never returned. Bob Charles admitted that it was a relief when she left, stating that Carrigstown was simply not ready to have such a beautiful woman. The Neasa ordeal brought out the very worse in the men in Carrigstown and Bob Charles has worked endlessly on the Carrigstown Agenda since 2013 to undo the damage.

Beauty Contests[edit | edit source]

In 2014 Carrigstown established a beauty pageant at the annual Carrigstown Community Games. The competition took a round-of-16 knockout approach whereby competitors faced off against one another and the judges, Damien Halpin, Cass Cassidy and Dolores Molloy. As competition entered its final stage the judges received one more show from each of the final competitors. Controversy arose when the judges declared Neasa winner despite her never actually partaking in the competition. The judges explained the decision was made in error as they had intended to crown her sister Caoimhe, who was actually partaking in the competition, but had confused the pair. Footage of the event taken by Doug Ferguson later revealed that Cass had missed many of the performances with his weak bladder forcing him to take regular visits to the toilet. The footage also showed Damien Halpin had been playing games on his Blackberry throughout and Dolores Molloy was busy chit-chatting with missing and presumed deceased homosexual Cristiano San Martin. Cass later relented that he had presumed Neasa was competing and regardless of the controversy she is deserving of the title.