The Orla and Wayne Surrogate Fiasco 2019

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Orla Crying.jpg

Junior is really sick.

The Orla and Wayne Surrogate Fiasco 2019 is a Carrigstown scandal which first came to light in late 2019. The story was covered by several local media outlets which reported that Orla Kirwan and Wayne Molloy needed to have another child in order to perform a blood transfusion on their son Junior Molloy, who was very ill. However, they were lucky that the real father of Junior is actually Tommy Dillon, an incredibly fertile man, unlike Wayne.

They deduced that they would need a child fathered by Tommy and mothered by Orla. Initially Tommy was very enthusiastic and offered to engage in intercourse with Orla. Wayne was completely okay with this but Orla preferred a third option which also incidentally fit quite well with the Carrigstown Agenda - surrogacy. Moody lesbian Sash Bishop was called upon as it was common knowledge that her desperation to do something meaningful with herself would make her an easy target for Orla and Wayne's sordid plan. So in a process still not fully understood, even by those closest to the scandal, Sash became pregnant, with Orla's eggs and Tommy Dillon's sperm.

The baby arrived in late December and was initially introduced as Sash's new baby by an unnamed sperm donor. Meanwhile the people of Carrigstown were told that Junior's blood transfusion was imminent, courtesy of an American surrogate mother. Dolores Molloy, mother of Wayne and grandmother of Junior, fell violently ill when the news broke that Tommy Dillon had once again proven himself as the town's most fertile bachelor.

In the weeks that followed, Tommy Dillon's cult hero status in Carrigstown reached all time highs. Rumours were spread that Tommy's sperm could impregnate women through clothing, and many women in Carrigstown began refusing to occupy the same room as Tommy. This led detective John Deegan to make a formal statement on January 16th, 2020, reassuring the people that such rumours were not true and that Tommy, while fertile, did not possess super human impregnation techniques.

Several people, including Laura Halpin and John "Bosco" Walsh offered Tommy Dillon large sums of money in exchange for pregnancy. Tommy refused Laura's requests on the grounds that he "Couldn't have another child with a lesbian". He never responded to Bosco's request, presumably because it's not possible for any man, even one as fertile as Tommy Dillon, to impregnate a man, despite suggestions from the Carrigstown Agenda that a man could be equally likely to fall pregnant in 2020.

Scandal[edit | edit source]

Sperm Donation[edit | edit source]

Tommy offered his sperm to the couple on the presumption that it would be used to impregnate an American surrogate, and that the resulting child would be returned to Wayne and Orla and become a new addition to the family. However, no such surrogate existed, and Wayne shrewdly sold Tommy's sperm to Sash Bishop, a lesbian who wanted a child, for a sum of €10,000.

Biological Process[edit | edit source]

Confusingly, the ovaries of Orla were apparently used, so the child is supposedly biologically related to her, despite it being likely that Sash was banging Tommy Dillon before this deal took place. There was an additional condition that the child be used to give blood to Junior.

Blackmail[edit | edit source]

Upon impregnating Sash, she began to extort Wayne. She initially requested the agreed sum of €10,000 back, otherwise she would not give them the blood needed. Wayne paid the sum, and quickly began to fund Sash's lavish lesbian lifestyle.

Deceit[edit | edit source]

Upon Tommy finding out that his sperm was used on a bad-mannered lesbian, he disclosed the entire story to the media and so the scandal was born.

Consequences[edit | edit source]

The baby is now under the custody of Sash Bishop, and Orla regularly offers to babysit as she feels a connection with the baby.