Lee Collins

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Lee Collins

Lee.png

Lee burning people's ears about his new app venture.

BornLee Collins
21st October 1990 (age 31)
Carrigstown, Ireland
CitizenshipRepublic of Ireland (1997-present)
OccupationApp Developer · Social Welfare
NetworthUS$10

Lee Collins is a deadbeat app developer living in Carrigstown, Ireland. He has been likened to a young Cass Cassidy.

Along with several others in Carrigstown, Lee is heavily engaged in scheming. He will often be working on menial side hustles to earn 20-50 EUR here and there, while proclaiming himself as an entrepreneur, a claim unsurprisingly believed by the more dull members of the community.

There was a false perception in the community that Lee would soon be raising funding to build a rather complex Android app which would one day change the world and make him a billionaire. However it came to light in March 2020 that this was ultimately a rumour being perpetuated by Lee himself. It was simply an elaborate exercise in narcissism. Several members of the local community reported that Lee was actually learning to write a trivial Hello World app in the evenings, while drawing dole on a weekly basis.

Murder of Will Casey[edit | edit source]

Lee murdered aggressive homosexual Will Casey by shoving him down a flight of stairs. Lee's brother, Darragh Collins, assisted in a botched cover-up. Attempting to remove his fingerprints from Will's jacket, Lee spilled a litre of bleach over his head which Darragh subsequently wiped up using tissue paper. Despite this, the local coroner ruled out the possibility of foul play.

In the subsequent weeks, Lee could be seen moping about Vino's. Bob Charles noted in his Reflections on Carrigstown (2021) book that Lee spent the days following Will's death in an odd state — Purchasing €4 coffees for hours on end which is highly unusual for a member of the Collins family, who Charles described as being tight and lacking diversity.

Lee followed this by attempting to open up a fundraiser for Will's daughter Phoebe Casey's university education. Guilt ridden and getting on everyone's nerves, Lee was quickly making himself a major suspect. John Deegan began to investigate Lee, but cool detective Steve Yates appeared out of absolutely nowhere, telling Deegan to get lost and that Will was a "loser who got what he deserved". He then berated Lee and knocked some sense into him.